A Fish Farm Wedding

We're back!

2009-06-05T20:30:00.000-07:00

We are married! We are tan! We are home.

We promise much eye-candy later, but I wanted to post just one photo from our big day. I love this photo. It was taken (on film, mind you) by our good buddy Mike Worful. So many photos to share, but just this one for now. It was taken just after our first dance. I love it.

The Exact Spot

2009-05-20T12:11:00.000-07:00

Bring a sweater.

2009-05-19T08:42:00.000-07:00

No, SERIOUSLY. Maybe a heavy one. The last two nights here at the farm, the temperature has dipped into the low 40s. It has been unfailingly gorgeous during the day - 70 degrees, dry, sunny, blue skies - but once the sun goes down it does get a little nippy. And if there's a breeze you'll be all the more grateful to have something warm to snuggle into. Snuggle. It should be a little warmer by this weekend - highs in the 80s - but evenings will still be cool.

Directions from Hotel to the Farm

2009-05-18T22:05:00.000-07:00

Ah, at last, the dreaded (by me) directions from the hotel to the farm. It's about a 20-mile trip, which is almost 30 minutes on these curvy roads. Just a suggestion, but you might want to use your odometer. If you're staying at the Best Western, there will be a map and written directions waiting for you in your room. And hopefully we'll have time to post some signs and balloons at key intersections so you can't miss it.

From the hotel:
Turn left out of parking lot. Go 0.6 miles.

At Chili’s, Turn left onto Highway 51 west.

Go 3.0 miles and, at the stoplight, keep straight onto the 51 SPUR.

Go 3.3 miles and turn left onto 82 North (it’s a “T” intersection).

Go 2.4 miles and make a sharp right turn onto 82A. This turn is badly marked, no stop sign, and it happens in the middle of a big curve.

Go 9 miles basically straight, and turn right onto E. 626 Road.
NOTES for this 9-mile leg:
• at 2.2 miles, keep RIGHT
• at 3.7 miles, pass Moody’s store on left
• at 6.6 miles, do NOT turn right, continue straight like we told you!
• at 7.2 miles you’ll go down a long, windey hill

After you turn onto E. 626 Road, go exactly 2 miles, and the driveway is on the left, sloping downhill.

Now, when it comes to the trip back to town at the end of the night after dancing and cocktails... good luck.

Big Day & Fish Fry Details

2009-05-18T18:44:00.000-07:00

Ok, so here's the deal. The ceremony will take place at 5 PM, as planned. We went out in the pasture today around 5:30 and saw where the sun and shade were falling so we can best place the chuppah and the chairs to make sure no one has to endure harsh sunlight during the proceedings. Immediately following the ceremony, we'll take family photos and the cocktail hour will begin for everyone who isn't involved in the photo session. Dinner will be served around 6:45, and the rest of the evening will roll out on its own. We have some surprises planned. Watch out!

The next day, around 11 AM, the Fish Fry Creek Picnic (as we have chosen to name it) will begin. Bring yourselves and your appetite back to the farm - we'll supply everything else for a nice, relaxed, CASUAL afternoon in each others' company. Expect some fine fish courtesy of the infamous Delaney Erickson, tasty sides, beer, and (for the courageous) a swim in the creek. Feel free to bring your creek shoes and/or bathing suits if you want to go in (screaming).

If you have any questions, we are now at the farm: 918-868-2802. See you soon!

We have been sanctioned!

2009-05-18T18:33:00.000-07:00

Today, as one of the many errands we ran in Tahlequah, we visited the nice lady in the court clerk's office and wrangled ourselves a marriage license! We are now allowed to get hitched at any time in the next ten days, after which we fill in the rest of the form with our officiant, turn it back in to the authorities, and walk away with our marriage certificate. Here's me with our license - check out the official seal:

We also dropped off my dress to be steamed, picked up our beautiful programs from our friend Lynn, got the car washed, and found some metallic pens to write in the guest book. Combined with lots of phone calls to vendors and helpful friends, we got a lot done today. See you in five days!

T-minus 10 Days!

2009-05-14T07:46:00.000-07:00

I can't believe the wedding is happening in ten days. Furthermore, I can't believe that all this planning, organizing, and dreaming will materialize and then vanish all within an eight-hour period. I'm going to need a new hobby for the next year.

Anyway, because the wedding is ten days away we can all now start obsessively checking the 10-day forecast on weather.com. And right now, the last two days look like this:

Let's hope it stays this way!

Dance Lessons

2009-05-12T12:24:00.000-07:00

Last night our friend Laura and her partner Matt came over and gave Jay and I a dance lesson so we don't resort to the generic sway or the less-generic side-by-side solo wiggle. Thank you Laura and Matt!

We're learning the two-step - it's an easy step with lots of variations and fun add-ons that aren't difficult to choreograph. We'll be practicing every night between now and the wedding, working on loosening up and keeping out from under each others' feet. Here's one of the moves we're working on:

We're going to put on quite a show...

Willow Branch Fish Farm in April

2009-05-11T21:00:00.000-07:00

This is my mom's recently planted flower bed by the front gate. Just on the other side of the fence there is where the big tent will be for the reception, and waaaay in the back where the fence line meets the tree line in the upper right corner, is where the ceremony will be. Notice the excellent mowing - that grass is short! (It's usually about up to your waist.)

Pansies just off the front porch. Looks like Hilde hasn't had a chance to tromple and nap in them yet.

And on the slightly less bucolic but more exciting side, here's the creek below our house flooded by April storms. Mom assures me that the worst is over and the farm is quickly drying out. Better bring plenty of beer just to be on the safe side, though. In case we have to canoe out of there.

Recently

2009-05-08T11:38:00.001-07:00

I am actually growling at Jay, even through it looks light I might be making some weird forced smile. Taken last night at an event in town, by our dear friend Geoff Story - who is also shooting our wedding. We *heart* you Geoff!

Well, maybe just one photo.

2009-05-05T22:59:00.000-07:00

I love this photo by the never-not-interesting Michael Worful. A shot from inside the bachelor party "limo bus." This thing took us everywhere. Mm-hmm, yup, it took us there, too.

From left: S. Trouvere, J. Fram, M. Virag, A. Fram, D. Garfield, and S. Fram.

The Sass Parties

2009-05-03T16:36:00.000-07:00

Our dear bawdy friends threw us the much-anticipated bachelor and bachlorette parties last night (separately, of course) and we are both still alive, dignity intact. I will not divulge details, but we both had nights to remember. No photos to post - we will keep our secrets, thanks.

May starts tomorrow.

2009-04-30T21:41:00.000-07:00

Jay's wedding ring arrived today - I'm sure he'll want to write about it himself, but I just wanted to voice my opinion on the matter to tell you that it is exquisite. You might wonder what an exquisite men's ring might look like, but you'll see soon enough and you'll understand my adjectival choice. It's perfect!

The wedding is just over three weeks away. I can not believe it. This Saturday is my bachelorette party, then I have a week to finish my final semester papers and turn them in, and then I have one week at home to wrap everything up and hop into what will certainly be a tightly-packed wedding mobile, headed for Oklahoma. And between now and then, I will also celebrate Jay's brother's birthday, Mother's Day, my sister's (totally awesome) graduation from veterinary school, and my (maid o'honor) sister's birthday. Lots and lots of goodness happening in May.

Also, don't worry about Jay and I taking off for our honeymoon in Belize, which is immediately south of Mexico and all the current craziness. Swine flu ain't nothin' compared to our big love.

The farm after rain.

2009-04-25T08:47:00.000-07:00

We're standing in the yard, looking out the gate and down the driveway toward the road. The reception tent will be just outside the gate and in the pasture to the right. This polaroid was taken the day after a hard rain. It looks sopping wet here, but actually the yard was gorgeous and lush; it was a beautiful partly cloudy day. Here's hoping we don't get a hard rain on May 23, 2009. Cheers!

Secret Password

2009-04-21T12:55:00.000-07:00

I just called the Best Western in Tahlequah and released all the unreserved rooms that we had set aside for our wedding guests. But if you haven't yet staked your claim, I have learned that you have only to utter the secret password to receive the reduced rate: "Fram/Jones Wedding." Very sneaky. The only difference between today and yesterday is that all the rooms are now open for the general public to reserve, so they might get booked up.

In other words, don't dally.

See you there!

Last Day for Discount at Ye Olde Best Western

2009-04-19T20:11:00.000-07:00

We have to release the rest of the reserved rooms at the Best Western tomorrow, so if you haven't booked your room yet... you should do it now! Give me a call or an email if they give you trouble. The rate they gave us is $65, and I really don't know how much of a discount that is (how much could a Tahlequah hotel room really be?), so maybe you could still get a decent rate after tomorrow. It is Memorial Day weekend, though, and a lot of people come to town to play on the Illinois River. Hotel contact info here.

The Best Man

2009-04-19T09:42:00.000-07:00

A.L. Fram wears a black suit by Hugo Boss. Orange tie by Prada. Glasses by Georgio Armani. Suspenders by Dolce & Gabbana. The rakish good looks are not for sale.

Yet another accessory...

2009-04-15T09:33:00.000-07:00

Not because it's all that warm, or because I necessarily need one, but I have sprung for this gorgeous shrug from couture designer Holly Stalder. I'm getting it in black lace to wear after the ceremony as the night progresses and I feel the need for a slight costume change. She's going to add a special rhinestone accent to it as a compliment to my headpiece and earrings. I think it will nicely echo Jay's dark suit/white shirt combo for photo purposes, aside from being undeniably sassy and fully featuring vintage goodness.

By the way, there's only about five weeks left until the big day. I am so ready.

Six Years On

2009-04-08T13:22:00.000-07:00

This picture was taken on January 31, 2003, at 6:42 PM. We're in my old apartment on Russell Blvd., about to go out for our second, maybe third, date. Look at Jackie's expression: you can tell we don't know each other very well and we're not used to standing that close. I was still a photo assistant, not yet shooting fully on my own. Jackie was a development (fundraising) coordinator at Girls Inc., a non-profit in St. Louis. This feels like a loooooong time ago, career-wise and love-wise. And hair-wise.

Other things that spanned 6 years:
* World War II (1939-1945)
* Time between The Beatles' first trip to America and the release of Let It Be, basically their final studio album (1964 - 1970)
* The dot-com bubble (1995 - 2001)
* The marriage of cousin Steve and Lisa (late 2002 - present)
* And of course, the U.S. war in Iraq (2003 - and counting)
* What else? Leave us a comment.

Your cell phone won't work.

2009-04-07T21:14:00.000-07:00

Not even if it looks like this. Yes, I know it's impressive, but still no. Once you get within about 5 miles of the fish farm, cell phone service will bid you adieu, completely, until you head back to town. I have never met anyone whose phone worked while they were out at the farm. So please, if you're new to the area, print out some of the handy directions from this blog, keep your map with you, and don't assume your iPhone will get you there. I know, I love mine too, but trust me on this one.

Lucky tip: There will be a highlighted local map waiting for you in your hotel room.

What's in the Jukebox?

2009-04-05T22:04:00.001-07:00

So, our friend Alex suggested that we might want to have a running list of songs that everyone has already submitted for the big day. We think that's a great idea. We'll consistently update this list as songs come in, and you can always find a link to this evolving post over there ---> in the sidebar. Here they are, in no particular order:

Spoon, I Turn My Camera On
The Ramones, Oh Oh I Love Her So
Katrina & the Waves, Walking on Sunshine
Roxy Music, To Turn You On
Glenn Miller, In the Mood
Dionne Warwick, What the World Needs Now Is Love
Sister Sledge, We Are Family
Etta James, At Last
Golden Earring, Radar Love
Sophie B. Hawkins, Damn, I Wish I Was Your Lover
Whitney Houston, I Wanna Dance With Somebody
Grateful Dead, Going Down the Road Feeling Bad
Jimi Hendrix, Red House
Kool and the Gang, Celebrate
Yello, Oh, Yeah
John Denver, Annie's Song
Bob Gibson, Making a Mess of Commercial Success
Curtis Mayfield, Move On Up
Soul Survivors, Expressway to Your Heart
Madeline Peyroux, Dance Me to the End of Love
The Turtles, Happy Together
Leon Russel, Song for You
George Harrison, Something
Queen, Crazy Little Thing Called Love
Tom Waits, Picture in a Frame
Buena Vista Social Club, Chan Chan
Louie Armstrong, What a Wonderful World
Macy Grey, Everybody
Marvin Gaye, It Takes Two
Frank Sinatra, Fly Me to the Moon
Dean Martin, You're Nobody Til Somebody Loves You
Dean Martin, Volare
Patty Griffin, Heavenly Day
The Beatles, She's a Woman
The Beatles, Here, There, and Everywhere
Patsy Cline, Always
The Ink Spots, When My Sugar Walks Down the Street
Brewer and Shipley, Make My Bed
Willie Nelson, Stardust
Marley's Ghost, Guava Jelly
Pink Floyd, Fearless
Jamiroquai, Canned Heat
John Denver, Follow Me
Bob Seger, Old Time Rock n Roll
Nina Simone, Turn Me On
Fleetwood Mac, Everywhere
Michael Jackson, PYT
Young MC, Bust a Move
Hot Chocolate, You Sexy Thing
Yo La Tengo, Sugarcube
Jack Guthrie, Oakie Boogie
Garth Brooks, The Dance
Jimmy Buffet, One Particular Harbor

My shoes are important!

2009-04-05T21:52:00.000-07:00

I know you've been losing sleep wondering what shoes I ended up buying for myself. I love these. My toes will just peep out from under the dress, and maybe a few lucky folks will get to see the ravishing bling of these oversized rhinestones flashing in the mid-day sun.

If they're lucky.

The Song List

2009-04-05T20:51:00.000-07:00

We have gotten some really interesting songs so far, but we want to make sure everyone knows that they don't have to stress over what songs to place in our jukebox.

If something comes to mind, great!

However, I know how it is to feel lost in the vast song universe. No worries. This is supposed to be fun and potentially quite silly, so anything goes. We've received everything from classic rock to vintage French folk, and lots of stuff in between.

I promise not to publish your names and respective selections in Rolling Stone. Although, that would be a fun article. For us. Never mind their other three million readers.

What do you mean by “semi-formal”?

2009-04-05T15:36:00.000-07:00

We’ve gotten a few questions about what we meant by “semi-formal” in the invitation. In a word, think “nice.” That’s all. Not prom night, but not a Memorial Day picnic, either. It’s, you know… a wedding. I don’t really want to tell you, our guests, what to wear, but if you are someone who would appreciate a little more specificity, here are some gentle suggestions.

Men:

Button-down shirt with a jacket is perfect.
A tie looks swell, but if you can’t stand them don’t sweat it.
Not crazy about jeans.
How about slacks or nice pants?
Shoes should be comfortable. Tennis shoes - not so much.

Women:

Silk crepe and taffeta are certainly not necessary.
Sun dress and flats is a good idea.
Skirt is nice.
Slacks are cool.
Heels are probably not a good idea, as you will sink into the loamy soil all night.
It may get a little cool in the evening, so a light jacket is a good bet. At least have it in the car.

Last summer we went to an outdoor wedding in St. Louis in August. It was warm and muggy. I wore slacks and a shirt and tie… with flip-flops. I thought it was a perfect solution - dress up the top so you can keep it cool on the bottom. I don’t know what anyone else thought, but I didn’t receive any direct complaints. The weather gods willing, our May wedding should be a lot more comfortable.

Directions from St. Louis to Willow Branch Fish Farm

2009-04-05T14:04:00.000-07:00

For you out-of-towners (and we love you for making the trip), it's important to understand that driving to the hotel in Tahlequah is NOT the same thing as driving to the farm. You don't even pass one on the way to the other.

Most of you will not be driving directly to the farm; rather you will go first to the hotel, fall asleep, or watch bad cable TV and enjoy your welcome basket... and then drive to the farm the next day. For you, stay tuned in an upcoming post for the trickiest directions of all, from hotel to farm.

But here are directions from STL to the farm, just in case. Once you get into rural Cherokee County, road signs are scarce and Google maps fail pretty fast. And so will your cellphones - don't say we didn't warn you. So these are custom directions, courtesy Jay's mom, all distances measured by hand, all landmarks double-checked and cross-referenced for currency. They just don't make 'em like this anymore, folks. Enjoy these while you can.

Take Interstate I-44 from St. Louis into Oklahoma
- OK part is toll road.
Exit at Afton. Take US-59 South. Watch carefully for signs after toll booth.
- Go through towns of Grove and Jay. (Yup, it’s a town called Jay.)
From stoplight in Jay, continue on US-59/OK-10 for 20 miles.
- Do not turn onto US-412-Cherokee Turnpike.
Turn right at Scenic US-412. Go 4 miles (west).
- You enter Twin Oaks.
Turn left at US-412-A toward Oaks. Go 2.7 miles south.
- (Google road numbers do not match road signs.)
Turn right at E. 0587 Rd at big sign: “Oaks Indian Mission”.
- Go 0.2 miles.
- Pass school and Post Office on left.
Turn left just past Post Office. No roadsign whatsoever. This is 82-A.
- Just continue on same road, no turns, for 4.7 miles.
- (Ignore Google numbers and turns – they do not correspond.)
At fork, at old rock house, turn right on E. 626 Rd.
- You are still going mostly west.
- Go exactly 2.0 miles.
You will see Mailbox #19427 on the left. Turn down next
- driveway to the right, toward creek, through 2 gates,
- into Willow Branch Farm, (19380 E. 626 Rd).

WELCOME !

Directions from Tulsa Airport to the Hotel

2009-04-05T13:40:00.000-07:00

Google map and directions are HERE.

Editor's Note: Google knows almost all, but not quite. There is at least one flaw in these directions, near the end, when it tells you to make a U-turn at the 51 Bypass. No. Wrong. Correction: As you are approaching Tahlequah on Highway 62, the Best Western hotel will be on your left, and you can make a left turn directly into the parking lot. There is no need for a U-turn, and if you reach the Bypass you've gone too far.

Our cake topper.

2009-04-02T16:18:00.001-07:00

Handmade by the skilled folks at Middleburg Folk Art Studio.

We *heart* it.

Directions from St. Louis to the hotel

2009-03-30T21:36:00.000-07:00

Google map and directions are HERE.

MY shoes.

2009-03-30T21:09:00.000-07:00

Because Jackie goes on at some length about her shoes, I thought I should post a picture of my own. Here is one of my shoes. I like it a lot. What I don't understand is why you can't find anything like this at an actual store in St. Louis.

We're famous!

2009-03-30T13:55:00.000-07:00

Well, not exactly. But the story of my wedding headpieces is being featured on the beautiful, fun wedding blog, 100 Layer Cake. They asked for interesting stories of how brides are involving their bridesmaids in interesting, unique ways, and they selected my story to post. Fun! The prize is a selection of gorgeous handmade soaps, to give as gifts to my maids so they can all smell fantastic on the big day (not that I was concerned about this detail...). Yay! You can read the story here.

Photos from 100 Layer Cake

The Farm

2009-03-30T11:35:00.001-07:00

For those of you who have never been to the Willow Branch Fish Farm, I thought I'd let you see where you're headed in May. This is the fish farm where Jay's family has lived since 1979 or so. Until about fifteen years ago, it was a working catfish farm that made use of the three spring-fed ponds on the property. Like I said in a previous post, it's Cherokee allotment land and there's an old Cherokee cemetery in the pasture. It's a beautiful place. We'll be wed in the far corner of the pasture, under some very old, towering trees. Looking forward to seeing you there!

xo,
jackie

A better picture of our flower!

2009-03-29T22:39:00.000-07:00

Jackie keeps using that flower picture and even she has admitted that it's crappy. The picture, I mean. Here's a much better one from some random person's wedding that wasn't nearly as interesting as ours will be.

I'm in this wedding too, you know.

2009-03-29T22:14:00.000-07:00

Jackie is not the only one who can write blog posts. I can write a blog post. I have things to say. I'm wearing stuff at the wedding, too. I got some new shoes. I have a nice suit. I have friends that will be standing beside me, and I'm going to say some important stuff to Jackie. I ordered a ring that is totally freakin cool. See? This is easy.

Some things I might talk about in future blog posts include: Maps. Maybe a picture of my amazing ring, as soon as I figure out how to post a picture. My shoes. My tie. Other peoples' ties. Fishing information. Fish fry information. Weather predictions. Parking directions. Um...running out of ideas...

I only have ten minutes to write this post so I really have to wrap it up, but rest assured, there's going to be some changes around here. You're going to hear the masculine perspective that has been so sorely missing from this discourse. Dilemmas will be discussed at great length.

Dilemmas like, how long can I put off having kids and get away with it?

T-minus seven weeks!

2009-03-29T22:08:00.000-07:00

The invitations are out! We have already started to receive rsvp cards with really fun song requests - keep 'em coming! And don't worry about "dinner music" versus "dancing music" - we'll figure out the playlists and we want some of both. This song thing is so much fun.

Over the past few weeks I have had the honor of being honored at two wedding showers - what a fine reminder of the love and kindness that surrounds Jay and me. Turns out I know a lot of fantastic women! Thanks again, ladies!

Now, for the details (over the last few weeks we have figured out quite a lot of them):

Our flowers will be done by the fabulous guys at A Cowboy Rose in Tahlequah - they hail from Los Angeles (long story) and they do flowers like they still live there, if you know what I mean. The main flower is the mango calla lilly (see --->), and Jay is working on ordering an old-fashioned silk cravat that we think will match perfectly. In person, the flower is a bit richer in color, more of a deep reddish orange. Stunning. All the men's boutonnieres will feature this flower, as will my bouquet. Bridesmaid's bouquets will contain deep orange tulips and a fun hit of thistle blue.

Speaking of flowers, my mom is sewing table runners for the reception tables, to be laid over white linens. The fabrics are beautiful - they're Amy Butler florals...

So pretty! I have finally ended the quest for the elusive orange bridesmaid's shoe (you'll see the solution in May), received my amazing headpiece (see previous post...it is worth checking out), and my dress is finished and hanging safely in my mom's closet.

Jay, by the way, is a killer in his new suit. A lady killer, that is. We will make quite the pair.

More to come...stay tuned!

xo,
jackie

Things are coming together!

2009-03-09T21:37:00.000-07:00

We're only 2.5 months away and things are really starting to come together! I had my first dress fitting this weekend and decided on the type of shoe I'll be wearing. See the photo on the left. It's not this exact shoe since my size is not available anywhere in the universe, but I'll be scouring the webosphere for a similar shoe for the next few weeks. I love that my toes will peep out from under the dress, and that I don't have to worry about what color my shoes are - just have to get a fresh pedi the week before. And rhinestones! So pretty. I'll wear these after the wedding, for sure.

Also, the lovely LoBoheme at Etsy has created the bridesmaids' feather headpieces and they're just about ready to go! There are five of them, each in one of the two designs below. They incorporate the burnt orange accent color. They are just darling.

In addition to being beautiful, they help connect our ceremony to the wedding place: Cherokee brides traditionally wore feathers in their hair, and the fish farm is Cherokee allotment land.There's even a 19th-century Cherokee cemetery on the property, near where the ceremony will take place. It's a really spiritual setting, and I think these pieces acknowledge in some small way the history of the land.

We have arranged the order of our ceremony and, last but certainly not least, the invitations are designed and we're printing them this week. They're gorgeous. I don't want to post and pictures - you should be surprised by something during this process.

I have two showers to attend this month: one given by the wonderful Lynn Cyert (hi Lynn!) and one by my mom and sister. I am so honored to have such love!

Jackie's Feather Fascinator

2009-02-11T19:56:00.000-08:00

Lo, the woman on Etsy who is designing my headpiece for the wedding, just got back to me with the preliminary piece. I can make up to two changes before it's finalized. I'm planning on wearing a loose side bun, so the piece would clip in on top or just to the side of the bun. Here it is:

So, what do you think? Any suggestions? I selected the brooch because I thought it echoed a spray of feathers; Lo designed the feathers to echo the shape of the brooch. I think it looks great, but I have a difficult time imagining these sorts of things as they'll actually look. In this case, I need you to visualize how this will look on my head and tell me if you think she should modify it at all. The feathers are not white - they're champagne and ivory, so they'll go nicely with the dress.

Thoughts??

Crystal's Dress & Our Famous Color Selection

2009-02-10T17:00:00.000-08:00

My lovely maid of honor has ended her quest for a dress. I think it will look lovely on her. The photo on the left is from the website - it's not her, but you get the idea. Each lady is shopping for her own style of black dress - to each her own.

I will be starting to search for shoes for all the ladies very soon - as soon as spring collections emerge fully.

For those who don't know, we've settled on an accent color: rust. Or burnt orange. Difficult to describe, not difficult to find. Kind of like this, but perhaps a bit brighter:

Ladies' shoes and men's ties will all be in this color. I envision my bouquet being mostly cream with some of this rusty color mixed in. We both think it will beautifully compliment the explosion of greenery that takes place on the farm in May. Funny how it matches the colors we selected when we designed this blog...

Hotel information!

2009-02-07T11:32:00.001-08:00

For those of you who are traveling to be with us in May, we have reserved a block of rooms under "Fram-Jones Wedding" at the Best Western in Tahlequah. There is a sweet reduced rate of $65 per room, but to receive it you MUST make your reservation by April 19th. And you can't reserve online: you have to actually call. The number is 918-458-1818.

If you can, please also call or email us to let us know that you have reserved a room, and what room number you have been given. We're keeping track of that stuff to make sure that everyone is taken care of.

We're so glad you're preparing to join us!

Registry information!

2009-02-07T11:25:00.000-08:00

We have just finalized our registries at Crate & Barrel and CB2, which is like Crate & Barrel's little cousin. Both sites are easy to navigate and well designed, and there are also "brick and mortar" stores for each (although there aren't very many CB2 stores around). If you prefer to shop in person, Crate & Barrel is probably the way to go.

That's all for now!

We have food!

2009-01-20T15:54:00.000-08:00

Things are moving along quite nicely at Chez Jones-Fram this wedding season. We have set the menu with the caterer and, although it's probably much more fancy than I'll make it sound, here it is:

- Smoked brisket with several tasty side sauces
- Chicken breasts and thighs with mushroom marsala sauce
- Caprese salad with yellow and red tomatoes
- Red-skin potato salad with fresh dill
- Greek salad
- Bread and butter

The cater is Catering Connections in Tulsa, and Chef Quentin is a great guy to work with. You know you have found a good caterer when you get them on the phone and they talk about food with a passion bordering on the sexual. I think they'll do a great job.

We also have all the rentals ordered, I have been to see my dress again (still beautiful!) and scheduled my first fitting, and I have begun the process of ordering my custom hairpiece (feathers!). Jay's suit came in and needs alterations, and I have set dates with my mom and sister for the all-important pre-wedding parties.

George Fulk has agreed to build us a chuppah. Thanks, George! Yay!

Also, Jay and I have both added to our wedding party. My fourth and newest bridesmaid is my great friend Gail - as our friendship has become stronger over the past year, it started feeling wrong for her to be sitting in the audience instead of standing up front with me. She has been a tremendous source of idea-inspiration, support, and encouragement through the planning process so far and I am so, so thankful. :) Gail joins my three other ladies: Crystal, my dear sister and maid of honor; Karin, my close friend and style consultant here in the Lou; and Julia, my very wonderful friend from years past who returned to NYC after living below Jay and I in an apartment in St. Louis for a very memorable year.

Jay has asked his longtime, sweetest friend Rachel Jett to stand on his side with his groomsmen. They have been friends for, like, nearly twenty years and I think she's the bees knees. So glad. Jay can tell you about his groomsmen in his own post - I wouldn't do them justice.

We have been working on registries this past week and we have a bit more shuffling around of things and stores to do, so we'll be posting the registry information in the next week or so.

Over and out.

Newsflash: Wedding Planning Actually Taking Place!

2009-01-07T22:18:00.000-08:00

Yes, it's true! Although we did not make as much progress as we had hoped over my winter break, we have made some big decisions and are on the verge of making others. Here's the lowdown so far:

- We have a caterer! But no menu...

- We have a cake bakery. Ann's Bakery is this quaint little 70-year-old business in Tulsa that (so far as I can tell) has a great reputation for customer service. Plus, they only frost in buttercream frosting (which is far tastier than fondant, if you ask me). We are sampling their wares over my spring break in March.

- We have hotel rooms booked at the Best Western in Tahlequah. If you want a room, you have to book it by April 20 to get the group rate. It's under "Fram-Jones Wedding." We'll make a more official post about this as May approaches.

- We have a rental company selected for the tent and all the other stuff (as in, everything) that we have to truck in for the wedding.

- We have a hairstylist and appointments to get our hairs did on the morning of the wedding.

- We have a florist and a consultation scheduled for March.

- We have a honeymoon location! We're going to the tiny Caye Caulker island in Belize for some snorkeling, some jungle-trekking, and a whole lot of lazing around in the sun. We're staying at this cute little B&B that gives each guest a bicycle for the duration of their stay. Gotta love that there aren't any cars on the island - just carts and bikes.

- We have a housesitter!

- We have a suit source for Jay - he has an appointment to get fitted for a dashing, sexy slim-fitting suit at J.Crew next week. It's the Aldridge, and he's wearing it with a vest. Sweet.

- I have moved away from the birdcage veil idea in favor of a feather fascinator sort of thing, like this. I'll perhaps buy it from a seller on Etsy, perhaps from a local vendor if I can find one.

Next up: registries, catering menu, wedding bands, finding a bartender and a chuppah-maker, and writing the ceremony. And that's just the task list for January.

Ideas? Please share them!

xoxo,
jackie

Save the Date!

2008-11-28T20:24:00.000-08:00

Our save the date cards are out! And they are so very beautiful. Our friend Karin designed them for us after a lunchtime conversation, and she really did fabulous work. Here is the final design:

Once my winter break kicks in on December 16, we'll be sitting down to list all the stuff we have to figure out between now and May 23. But we're in Oklahoma for the Thanksgiving holiday right now, and this Sunday we'll go into town to meet Rev. Thea Nietfield, the Unitarian minister who will marry us. She already sent us some great information about writing our own ceremony and we were thoroughly relieved to see how secular her materials are. It's important to us to be married by someone who has performed wedding ceremonies often enough to have developed her own style, but we weren't real keen on a county judge or justice of the peace, and we were worried that a minister/rabbi/reverend/mullah would insist on religious content or some God-ish overtone. But Thea seems completely open to a secular ceremony, even offering some spiritual (but not religious) Native American passages for us to choose from. Nice.

After our meeting with Thea, Jay's mom will be joining us in Tulsa for brunch at the Philbrook Museum - the caterer there is the caterer we're hoping to use for our reception dinner. And the the caterer has already hooked us up with a reasonable, respectable rental company for the tent, tables, linens, silver, and all the other random stuff you have to bring with you when you get married in a tent on a farm.

So we're actually getting some stuff taken care of. Still trying to figure out where to have the rehearsal dinner, where to go for the honeymoon, where to register, where to get my hair done, what the main accent color for the ceremony should be, where Jay will get his suit, where the flowers will come from, where we'll get our wedding bands, how we'll write our vows, and who will help us build a chuppah. And that's just what I've thought of while sitting here typing.

But, hey, I used to be an event planner. Should be easy, right?

Somehow, it doesn't seem that easy. You only get one wedding and we want it to be so fun and so...us. But being here this weekend has inspired us, and made us even more excited for the big day.

We should be writing more frequently for the next couple of months as we figure all this stuff out. Stay tuned...

Buying a house is hard...

2008-08-16T09:26:00.000-07:00

This is what we have been learning over the past month. But we've made it pretty far in the process with a really nice, 100-year-old, 2-story brick home in a great neighborhood. We're pretty excited, but we're trying to keep a healthy distance from our growing excitement since the seller hasn't yet agreed to do the things we've requested. Like putting in a chimney liner so the house doesn't burn down in three years. We think she'll do the smart, responsible thing and put the liner in, but there's always the chance that she won't and then we'll have to decide where we stand. I stand pretty close to the house. Jay is much more reasonable and stands a bit further away, ready to put practicality over emotion. But we both love the house.

More about details later...if all goes well, we'll close the deal on August 28th. Please join us in thinking good chimney thoughts this week.

The Quest Concludes!

2008-07-26T13:18:00.000-07:00

I bought a dress! I bought a dress!

This is very exciting. What's equally exciting is that I got the dress at a sample sale at this cute little boutique downtown. A sample sale is when the store sells the dresses that have been tried on by shoppers and are no longer available for ordering, but are still in good condition. Most look like they haven't ever been worn, especially the ones that I liked (since most people wouldn't necessarily like what I like, considering the scarcity of dresses that I have liked over the course of this search).

The reason to do this is two-fold: I happen to be a good "sample" size, meaning that I fit well into the sample dresses and they won't need much in the way of expensive alterations, and (the big one) the dress I got was marked down to less than 1/3 of its original cost.

I got a steal! A beautiful, sexy, very flattering steal.

Dress: check!

The Great Dress Quest: Initial Results

2008-07-20T11:21:00.000-07:00

SPOILER ALERT!

For those who don't want to know anything about my dress before you see me in it on May 23 of next year, don't keep reading.

FOR THE REST OF YOU

Bottom line: we had fun. It was really great to spend the day with my mom and sister, and they were so helpful and honest. And respectful of my anti-poof, anti-beading stance...even though it initially ran contrary to their suggestions. In the end, we are all three in agreement regarding the three finalists to emerge from the nearly thirty dresses I tried on.

And here's what's surprising: the dresses in the final three are nothing like what I thought I'd end up with. Remember what I was pining after in the earlier post? So, it turns out that a short, 50s-inspired dress is wasted on a tall woman's long lines, and a long, flowy number looks like pajamas unless you're moving at a brisk pace and the fabric is positively blowing back around your body. I was so excited to try on lots of long flowy gowns, but I looked absolutely shapeless - except for my hips, which of course were the only element of my curvature that was noticeable.

What I ended up falling in love with: two white Old Hollywood, 1930s-inspired, rhinestone-accented clingy numbers (one in buttery silk, one in satin with a chiffon overlay) that make me think of Jean Harlow. One has a beautiful criss-cross back section, the other has a stunning exposed back with a rhinestone broach at the lowest point. The third is a lovely satin-faced taffeta wide-v-neck modified (slimmer) A-line gown with a wide sash at the waist. The sash is really long on this last one, so if you make a knot in the back, the extra length flows beautifully into the short train. All three have very small trains that can easily be bustled up, and none have poof or beading (at least I held onto that). All three dresses make me feel like a glamorous starlet. This is going to be a difficult decision.

I would post pictures, but I think that would freak out certain people who think that the very idea of posting mere descriptions of the three finalists somewhere Jay can see them is bad form. To those people: Jay has seen photos of two of the three finalists (not of me in them, just of models online), but he won't know which I select and he won't know what color I'll be wearing until he sees me at the wedding.

It is going to be VERY difficult not to share my excitement with him when I finally select a gown and buy it. We're not very traditional or superstitious, but I think it might be nice for him to be pleasantly surprised by my choice on the big day.

I'm going back out into the bridal wilderness with some girlfriends this week, hoping to further narrow the field. It will be nice to have this one important element out of the way before my semester strikes in August.

Doing My Part

2008-07-18T21:09:00.000-07:00

And while that's going on (see below), Jay will begin work on one of the groom's biggest pre-wedding responsibilities. Buying a Vespa. Or maybe an off-brand scooter. But definitely something that looks classy and feels fun. Did you know that most 50cc motor scooters get around 100 mpg? Have you seen gas prices lately? Uh-huh, I know.

The Great Dress Quest, pt. 1

2008-07-18T14:48:00.000-07:00

So, me and my mom and sister are undertaking the first leg of the Dress Quest tomorrow. We're visiting four shops - three bridal shops and one very chi-chi non-bridal shop that shall remain nameless because I never thought I'd ever really set foot in there. And because they sell really, really expensive clothes. And because they have "Fifth Avenue" in their name, and I don't want to be associated with Fifth Avenue. Perhaps some other Avenue, but not Fifth.

I'm going to the bridal shops for fun, but I don't think I'll be wearing a traditional type of dress. After hours (and hours) of scouring the internet searching for styles that appeal to me, most of what I like are non-bridal couture gowns, like my all-time favorite by designer Jenny Packham:

So ethereal, so flowy. And I love the pale color with the red accents. No heavy satin, no gigantic poof, no expensive beading. Not that this dress isn't expensive. It is, and I can't afford it by any means. But this style is what I have in mind.

Also these beautiful dresses by Claire Pettibone really do it for me:

I know they're a little small to really see what's going on, but it's more gorgeous, flowing material in a slim line, strapless gown. Love it.

And then there's the ever-present option that I started with when I first thought about what sort of dress I would wear: the vintage-inspired (or actual vintage) tea-length poofy dress such as this darling number from a London shop that I would love to visit:

Man, that's purty. I have found countless (affordable) vintage dresses online, but I am not what you would call a "vintage size." Either we're growing our women large and strong these days, or the only women to preserve dresses from the 1950s were short, thin women with impossibly small waists. Most of what I find are 33-26-36 sizes. Like a reed, I tell ya. Besides being 6 feet tall, I am proud of my curves and not at all ashamed to say that I need something quite a big larger.

I have also found lots of resources for custom-made dresses, but they're either too expensive (which they should be - these tailors are amazing) or too poorly-made. If there's one thing I want in this dress, it's finery. I want solid seams and a nice line, in materials that won't chafe me or make me sweat. And, of course, I want to look stunning.

I don't plan to purchase anything this weekend, but I hope to have fun and to not get too frustrated with either sales people or selection. There is a dress out there for me that someone wants less than $1000 for. There is. Really. I hope.

Dude, come ON!

2008-07-04T21:07:00.000-07:00

We sent the announcement like, HOURS ago. Where are all you people? It's the Fourth of July. What could you possibly be doing?

He said it, I didn't...

2008-07-03T20:50:00.000-07:00

The boss? All RIGHT!

So, like Jay said, this is going to be a useful source of information as we get close to the big day, but for the most part this is the site you can visit on a weekly basis for the next ten months to get your fill of wedding planning mania.

Wait, I'm sensing something...you're bookmarking this page right now, aren't you?

That's sweet.

Seriously, though. You can comment on our ponderings and decisions, even if we don't ask for advice. We love unsolicited advice. Really. You can let us know if you think we're heading down dangerous paths, bound for flower failure or cake catastrophe (oh, the alliteration!). You can suggest vendors (especially you fabulous Oklahoma folks...we're lost out here!) and offer solutions to our most pressing problems.

For us, this will be a great venue to share our thoughts, even if no one comments. Or even reads it. A place to get our thoughts in order and preserve them in the web-o-sphere forever (kind of).

Like Jay said, we're planning for a really great day that will break it down in all the right ways. We'll be glad to have you along for the trip.

Hello world.

2008-07-03T20:44:00.001-07:00

I get too anxious about writing introductions, so gotta just get this inaugural post out of the way. Then we can start thinking out loud willy-nilly, regaling our readers with every half-baked notion and navel gaze that drifts through our noodles.

So welcome to A Fish Farm Wedding, which you know if you're here is Jay and Jackie's wedding blog. Why write a blog about your wedding? Um, that's a good question. I'm not sure. Let's ask Jackie.

Jackie?

She left the room. But I think the idea of the blog is mostly to include you, our shmantastic guests, in all the (up-to-the-minute!) planning and ideas for how this major shindig is going to break down. Break down as in come together, not break down as in a Ford Pinto or a hysterical teenager. Yeah, so anyway. What could be more interesting than keeping up with every shade of potential detail in our planned nuptials? Right?

And yet, this is a destination wedding for almost all of you. Destination as in you don't get to sleep in your own bed that night, not as in Hawaii. So this blog will be a great place to look for information like hotel recommendations in the mighty burg of Tahlequah, Oklahoma, and driving directions, and maps from the airport and the hotel to the farm, and where to buy gifts if you're into that kind of thing, and what kind of insect repellent to bring (you think I'm kidding?). You know, useful stuff.

I don't know, I think that's what it's for. We'll see what the boss has to say.